December is here. And it is time to reflect.

December, the last month of 2022 and oh boy: what a year it was. Motherhood, starting my business, our first year in the Netherlands, work, relationship challenges, and internal work. A lot of internal work. It feels like this year was a never-ending rollercoaster. With highs and lows. Ups and downs. And of course: the good and the bad. But I would do it all over again. Because as I am writing this blog, I feel more connected with myself than ever before.

I am proud of…

As it is the first day of a new month, I asked participants of the program ’21 days of writing’ to write about three things they are most proud of in 2022. And I joined. I started my exercise by writing everything that was bothering me. Because for the first time in weeks we had a horrible night with little Ilay. And even though I normally wake up before 6 am, this morning I could not handle it when Ilay was ready to start the day at 6.20 am. One and a half pages further, I finally felt ready to write about what I am proud of in 2022. So I asked myself: what are the three things I am most proud of in 2022 and why?

Number 1: I am more than a mother…

I am a mother, marketeer, writer, entrepreneur, partner and… Evy. Sometimes people ask me how I manage to combine all of it and, even though I could never imagine this, it almost feels easy. Because combining all these roles forced me into doing the one thing I never did before: putting myself first. Yes, I put myself before my partner. Yes, I put myself before my child. And yes, I put myself before my work, business and everything else. Because if my energy is low, how can I be the mother I want to be? If my energy is low, how can I create success in my business and success as a marketeer? If my energy is low, how can I give the love to my partner he deserves to receive?

Because my external world must serve me, not the other way around. And even though it is difficult? I highly recommend you do the same.

If you would have said this to me a few years ago, I would have laughed at you. I would have said: “that is so egoistic, I would never do this.” Because I am a people-pleaser. Correction: I was a people-pleaser. And ok, I am honest: there is one challenge. It is easy to put myself first, but it is difficult to say no to others. It is difficult to communicate my needs and desires to the external world. I prefer not to, but I have to. Because my external world must serve me, not the other way around. And even though it is difficult? I highly recommend you do the same.

Number 2: CNNCT

2022 is the year I turned my dream into reality. Ever since I was a little child I wanted to start my business. Step into the footsteps of my dad, grandmother, grandfather, godfather, brother and partner. I am surrounded by entrepreneurs. And I always wanted to be part of it. All of them have/had their business, but all of them are in their niche. And I did the same. I always felt I wanted to help people. But I never knew how. I was afraid to admit I would like to be a teacher, I would like to guide people, I would like to dress people and there are many more ideas engraved in my heart. They might be different, but all have one thing in common: helping people to create the inner-connection. Something that we easily lose in today’s society.

A power that pulled me out of my deepest lows. And a power I want other people to experience.

And here we are: I am guiding people through therapeutic writing. A power that I have been using ever since I was a little kid. A power that pulled me out of my deepest lows. And a power I want other people to experience. A three-week writing program, writing circles, 1:1 sessions and collaborations… It is all happening or in the making. I cannot wait for 2023 but boy… I am grateful for 2022. Forever and ever.

Number 3: the bound with little Ilay

Ok. First things first. Little Ilay is not so little anymore. He is almost turning two. They are right about motherhood because guess what? Time has never flown faster than it does now. But in 2022 Ilay and I became best friends. I know that there are people who have an opinion about how I raise Ilay. But I don’t care. Ilay is a person, with his own will, his character, and his own opinion. And he deserves to be heard. I involve him in life, daily life, and we enjoy everything together: drawing, walks through the woods, cleaning and everything in between. He grows up in a safe haven and because of this, I believe he will treat women with the respect we deserve to be treated with. He will never think about how my dad lifted a finger at my mum, and he will never think about doing the same as a group of guys did to me. Never. And of course, he has a Latino dad. He has the looks of his dad. And he will learn to dance and flirt like his dad. But also this… He will do from love. Because that is how I raise him: from love, the deepest essence of love.

And that? Is the thing I am most proud of.